Life is One Big Paradox

Paradox: a statement that seems to go against common sense but may still be true.

Have you encountered contradictory advice on your path of personal growth?

I have… Many times.

The most helpful stuff I’ve read at the moment is coming from people who have been able to write about their experiences and truly articulate all the ups and downs that come along with it.

It makes me realise…

This is normal

This is hard

This is human.

I’m not going to pretend I have the answers here, or that I’m riding the waves of self development with grace and ease.

There are fears, doubts and tears [Ha! Made that rhyme]

But I feel knowing what you are up against might help you weather the storms of uncertainty and again remind you that you are going in the right direction.

These are a couple of paradoxes I have been dealing with along my journey and have been contemplating over the last couple of weeks.

The Paradox of Personal Development

Focus on your future goals. Be in the Moment

We have people (in the self development industry) telling us to be present but also telling us that delayed gratification is good.

Don’t focus on the present

Instead focus on the long term perspective. - How do you reconcile these two?

I struggle with setting long term goals in the sense that I have a hard time just executing on the day to day things that need to be done in order to get there.

The goal is far enough away that the ‘I’ll get to it tomorrow’ line starts to creep in.

I have found recently that deciding on a goal, breaking down the habits I need to get there, and focusing only on those for at least 30 days without worrying about the big goal again has helped.

If you can’t get the habit working in 30 days don’t re assess the goal - re assess how you are going to make the habits work.

Did you start with too many new ones all at the same time?

Did life suddenly get ‘busy’ as you decided to focus on yourself?

Keep breaking it down and keep trying to fit those new habits into your routine.

Taking intentional steps to manifest your goals. But also holding your goals lightly, enjoy the present moment, and allow insights to arise from that mysterious place called “now.”

Accept yourself as you are. Work on yourself

On the one hand they tell you you are perfect as you are yet on the other hand you must do self-development and change.

So which is it?

If you want to grow, you can’t avoid looking at your weaknesses, mistaken beliefs, and unhelpful patterns.

But what I’ve found is its far easier if you allow self-love to be the foundation for an exploration of your faults.

This is where its easy to stress yourself out, tacking multiple habits at once.

Don’t overwhelm yourself. Take one fault at a time.

Explore it in moments when you feel good about yourself, not when you’re feeling down.

Remember, you’ll never find a perfect person as long as you live. Learn to love and accept yourself while you simultaneously focus on healing unhelpful thoughts and behavioural patterns.

Sahil Bloom covered the 20 of the most powerful paradoxes of life, maybe you will find some here that you are currently facing in your journey.

Final notes...

You’ll probably encounter contradictory advice on your journey of personal growth. These seeming contradictions are paradoxes that once understood can help you maintain more balance in your emotional response to the waves of life.

I wish I could tell you that there is an easy way to achieve any goal in life. Reality is, that nothing comes easy or at the click of a button.

It feels like you are assembling an infinite jigsaw puzzle with no picture.

Find a way to trust and have fun in the process.

Life is one big paradox

Maja Howard